


The Words You Whispered I Will Always Believe

by ItsSnixx



Category: Glee
Genre: Like really slow, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), New York City, Slow Build, Summer, but lots of them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-02-24 01:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2563769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsSnixx/pseuds/ItsSnixx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summer love doesn't last forever, that's a rule Kurt Hummel is about to learn. But when it comes to rules, Sebastian Smythe is an expert in breaking them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

The annoying sound coming from his alarm clock made him stretch his arm to turn ir off. Slowly, Kurt started opening his eyes. He, only wearing a pair of red boxers, stumbled out of bed and walked to the kitchen to have breakfast. Kurt tried to concentrate in drinking his coffee and tried to think of any stupid thing that crossed his mind. But he couldn't help it, he couldn't help thinking of him.

Sebastian Smythe

Three weeks had passed since the last time he saw him, three slow and heavy weeks. And no matter how much he tried, not a single day passed that Kurt hadn't thought of him, wondering what he might be doing or if he ever crossed his mind too.

They met in the summer, in Italy. His first impression of Sebastian was of a really good looking guy, slightly arrogant, but still a gentleman, so he decided to give him a shot, and he didn't regret it, he had a pretty good time with him. Until he had to say goodbye.

Almost unconsciously, Kurt started to play with the leather wristband he had on his left arm between his fingers and started remembering again the last time he saw Smythe in that fancy hotel room he had stayed during the holidays.

Sebastian was still above him, Kurt tried to calm his troubled breathing after his orgasm while he felt the other boy slowly pulling out of him and laying beside him, attaching his chest to Kurt's back and hugging his waist.

''B-Bas'' Whispered Kurt while Sebastian created a delicate trail of kisses from the back of his neck to his shoulder. ''You're leaving in the morning, right?'' 

Sebastian didn't answer.

''When will I see you again?'' He asked again, but the other boy was still pretending he hadn't heard anything. ''I don't want to lose you, Bas.'' Was the last thing he said before closing his eyes with a sigh.

''You can see me in your dreams.'' Whispered Sebastian, hugging him tighter. ''Sleep, beautiful.'' 

The morning after, Kurt woke up completely alone with the wristband around his arm. That day he didn't ever got out of the room, he just cried, thinking how stupid he was and how much he hated Sebastian for leaving. He didn't even had his number, he never mentioned where he actually lived, there was no way to reach him.

The boy sighed and walked heavily to his closet. He put on a pair of black skinny jeans, a white button up and a blue vest. He put on his favorite perfume and took his bag ready to leave the apartment with a really convincing smile. After all, it was his first day at NYADA.


	2. Chapter One

It was his first day, Kurt tried to stay unnoticed, he just didn't feel like making friends. He sighed and took a few seconds to stare carefully at the leather wristbands around his left wrist.  
NYADA was a beautiful place, there was a big glass entrance door. The hall had a few dark purple sofas and tiny coffee tables made out of craved wood with a lot of details. The rooms where the classes took place were huge and very neat.

At lunch time, Kurt just bought a salad and a bottle of water. The cafeteria was full, there wasn't one single empty table. The boy sighed, it was time to be polite to other humans. He walked around the place until he saw a guy whose blond hair made him stick out from the crowd, next to him there was a black haired boy looking at him sweetly, they seemed nice. Kurt approached to them.

''Hi, do you mind if I sit here?''

''No problem. I'm Jeff, and he's my boyfriend Nick.'' Said the smiling blond. ''And you are?''

''Kurt, it's my first day here.''

''Oh, we're in second year. Do you live here in New York?'' Asked Nick.

''Yeah, I moved in a few weeks ago, I'm from Ohio.''

''We're from Westerville!'' Exclaimed Jeff in a high pitched tone.

The three men exchanged phone numbers and continued talking about their lives like they had known each other their whole lives, they realized they had a lot of things in common. The couple invited Kurt to have dinner at their apartment and he accepted, Kurt didn't want to say goodbye to them so soon. The apartment wasn't so far from NYADA, in fact, it was just a few blocks away. They lived in the last floor, the twelfth

''Make yourself home, Kurt.'' Said Jeff while he hanged his jacked on the wall hanger, humming happily. 

All the furniture in the room were different shades of red and black, and the walls were really light brown. There was a huge bay window that led to a balcony with a beautiful view. 

The small kitchen was divided from the living room by a marble counter top that had a few chairs around it. 

Suddenly Kurt's scanning of the place was interrupted by a particularly high moan and panting coming out of a locked door next to the kitchen. Kurt blushed, and the couple in the room laughed a little.

''It's our friend and flatmate.'' Explained Nick. 

''He's a slut, I'm surprised he found a person in this city he didn't sleep with yet.'' Said Jeff, slightly angry. ''I highly doubt he'll ever find love.''

''I thought Nick said he was your friend.'' Spoke Kurt shyly.

''Well, one thing doesn't erase the other.'' Said Nick. 

Kurt continued to walk through the place trying to ignore the fact that there were two persons having sex just one door away. He spent a few minutes staring at a shelf full of framed photos. There were a few of Nick and Jeff with people Kurt assumed that were their families, another showed the couple sharing a kiss in what it seemed to be a high school hall, and in the last one there was a little boy with dark blond hair and big green eyes hugging an elder woman while they both held a puppy, Kurt assumed it was the other guy that lived there.

''How long have you two been together?'' He asked pointing at the picture of them kissing. 

''We've been together for three years.'' Answered Nick staring lovingly at his boyfriend. ''We met in high school, we both went to Dalton.'' He paused, Kurt was listening attentively. ''The first time I heard him sing I knew he was the one. Of course it took me a few months to convince Jeffy to go on a date with me but it was totally worth it.'' 

''What about you, Kurt?'' Jeff asked while he hugged his boyfriend. ''Are you dating someone? Because I know a few I could arrange you a date with, and who knows, maybe on your wedding day you can say you met the love of your life thanks to me and I'll raise my glass and wink, just like in the movies.'' Offered the blond, looking exited. Kurt laughed and stared at the floor, unable to answer anything about his relationship status.

''I know that look! Kurt's in love!'' Crooned Jeff letting go of Nick and leaning onto Kurt. ''What's his name? Where did you meet him? Is he cute?'' 

''His name is-'' He was interrupted by the sound a door opening, the door from which they heard moans earlier. When it opened, two guys came out of it. ''..Sebastian?'' Asked Kurt, horrified to see the green eyed boy leaning on the door frame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I hope you liked the chapter and if you see any grammatical error please let me know!  
> Thanks for reading, lots of love!


	3. Chapter Two

Kurt froze when he saw Sebastian, half naked, next to an ash blond haired guy wearing colorful clothes leaning on the door frame.

Of course the green eyed guy was very surprised to see his summer fling on his apartment's living room, but he made his best effort to keep calm, after all he was Sebastian Smythe and he wouldn't show concern in front of anyone, not even those beautiful blue eyes.

It wasn't hard at all for Kurt to realize what was happening.

Flatmate.

Sebastian coming of the room half naked along with other guy.

On the other hand, Nick and Jeff were surprised too. Not because of their roommates behavior, that was something they were unfortunately used to, but because Kurt knew their flatmate's name and suddenly the room was filled with tension within seconds. But definitely, the most confused person in the room was the young man that came out of the room with Sebastian. 

''It was really nice of you inviting me to have dinner.'' Kurt was the fist to talk, he just needed to get out of there. ''But I think I should go.'' And that was the last thing he said before walking through the door. 

''From where do you know him, Smythe?'' Asked Jeff slightly angry. Even if he had just met Kurt that day, he seemed like a nice person, and the blond boy didn't like to see people sad.

''I don't know what you're talking about.'' Said the tallest one shrugging.

''If you don't tell us we'll just ask Kurt, but you should tell us, man. After all we're friends, right?'' Nick tried to reason with him. Sebastian sighed before talking again.

''Adam, I think you should go.'' He suggested.

''No, Sebastian, from where do you know him?'' Asked Adam obviously angry.

''We met on the holidays in Italy and we started to hand out and do idiotic romantic shit like going out for dinner together or renting movies and not watching them. We hooked up a couple of times until I had to come back to New York and I didn't gave him any number to contact me. I thought he'd be happy to see me.''

''A few hours ago you told me you were a virgin.'' Stated Adam, angrier than before. Sebastian just stared at him awkwardly. The other two persons in the room were debating wether to laugh or to punch their flatmate in the face. Adam started to walk away.

''Wait, Adam!'' Sebastian shouted.

''What?'' Answered the blond, thinking he might want to apologize for being such an asshole.

''Your fly's open.'' The blond just rolled his eyes and finally left the room.

 

-

 

Kurt was devastated, he felt used and alone. Thinking of all the nights he spent thinking about Sebastian and wondering if he would ever see him again. He dried the tears that he hadn't realized that were sliding down his cheeks and laid in bed admiring the city's beauty through the big bay window. New York city was a beautiful place, but it could get really lonely. Watching the building's lights turning on and off made him think of the people who lived in them, and he wondered if any of them was feeling as lonely as him. Finally, he fell asleep.

The next morning, for the first time since he could remember, he didn't worried about picking an outfit. He put on the first pair of skinny jeans he could find and a big Captain America hoodie that had once belonged to Finn, he usually just wore it to bed in the winter. Kurt arrived to NYADA looking just as terrible as he felt. 

''Hey!'' He heard someone shouting in the halls, but he didn't turn around because he didn't recognize the voice. In a few seconds he had an ash blond haired guy in front of him. ''You're Kurt, right?'' He asked, breathing heavily. Kurt nodded.

''You look horribly familiar.'' Said Kurt remembering what happened in Sebastian's apartment. ''What are you doing here?''

''If it makes you feel better, he lied to me too.''He tried to comfort him, but failed. ''I'm Adam, by the way. I'm on last year and I'm the captain of the Adam's Apples.''

''And do you suggest we do, Adam? Start a club called 'Jilted by Sebastian Smythe'? Considering what I hared from Jeff we'd have a few members.'' Said gaining a laugh from Adam.

''No, I just came here to tell you that you shouldn't feel bad about what happened, you seemed pretty upset yesterday. It's not the first time someone does that to me.''

''It's the first time someone does that to me and I just feel so used and alone, I thought Sebastian might feel something for me. God, I'm so naive.'' Kurt hid his face between his hands. 

''I know how it feels, but it's not your fault.'' Adam patted his back. ''You just have to move on.''

The bell rang and Adam said goodbye. The halls began to get crowded with people walking -or running- to the lunch court. Kurt didn't feel like eating so he deiced he's just hang out on the garden. In the middle of all that commotion he bumped into someone and fell.

''I'm so sorry.'' Said the other person and extended a hand to him to help him get up. When Kurt looked up he found a boy shorter than him, he was wearing a disturbing amount of hair gel, had some pretty blue eyes and was wearing a bow tie. ''I'm really sorry, I didn't see you.'' He apologized again.

''It's okay, I'm fine.''

''I'm Blaine, do you have a cute name to match your face?'' He asked, and Kurt mentally gave him a few points for trying.

''Kurt.''

''Well Kurt, would you let me buy you a coffee? As a way to make up for making you fall.'' Offered Blaine. He seemed like a nice guy, but he wasn't sure if he was in the mood to go out.

''That's really sweet of you, but I don't know. I'm not feeling particularly pumped lately.'' He answered. Blaine quickly grabbed a piece of paper and a pen out of his bag and handed it to Kurt. It was his phone number.

''Give me a call if you change your mind.'' Said smiling before starting to walk with the crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to see Chris Colfer wearing a Captain America hoodie/shirt  
> Okay, so I hope you liked it and I wouldn't worry about Blaine, the kid won't last  
> I'm translating the next chapter right now so I might post it today or maybe not, who knows


	4. Chapter 4

The day proceeded quickly. Kurt was slowly realizing college is not so different than high school. Also he met his dance teacher, Cassandra July an, even if she seemed mean sometimes, she was just preparing them to face the real world. In the same class he also met a petite brunette named Rachel Berry, she was friendly and was the person with best musical taste he met on his 19 years of existence.

Kurt thought a lot about Blaine's invitation, and decided he would give it a chance, after all he needed a distraction, he couldn't just sit and spend the day feeling sorry for himself because Sebastian had played with his feelings, he needed to find himself again and he really needed to meet other people in the city that weren't the old cat ladies that lived in his building. Therefore, when the last bell rang, he took out his phone and dialed the number Blaine had written on the paper, he answered within seconds. 

''Hello?'' 

''Hi Blaine, I'm Kurt, I called to accept your coffee'' He said, sounding decided.

''Oh Kurt, I'm sorry but my roommate just texted me telling me that I have to get to our apartment as soon as I can and if I don't hurry she'll burn down all my bow ties.'' Explained Blaine, making Kurt laugh.

''Sounds adorable.''

''Rachel can be a real pain in the as but she's also quite charming whenever she wants to.'' Said Blaine and Kurt wondered if he was talking about the same Rachel he met that day. ''Kurt I really want to get to know you, do you want to maybe go to a bar and have a drink with me tonight?''

''I'd love to.'' 

''Great, I'll see you there? I'll text you the address.'' Kurt could almost hear the other boy's smile. ''I'll see you tonight, Kurt.'' Said before hanging up.

Kurt smiled foolishly at his phone screen, until suddenly the sun was gone, when he looked up, there was someone standing in front of him. 

 

-

 

''You have to apologize, Smythe!'' Shouted Jeff.

''I never did before, why should I start now?'' Asked Sebastian, pretty calm.

''This is different.''

''Why is Kurt different to any other guy I ever slept with?'' Asked the green eyed boy. Even though he knew Kurt was, in fact, different to all of them, but he wouldn't abandon his pride that easily.

''Kurt's not like them! He's not just a stranger you met at a bar.'' Jeff was shouting and moving his hands a lot. ''I may not know him very well but he doesn't seem the kind of person who likes one night stands, and he deserves more than this.'' There was a few seconds of silence, Sebastian knew Jeff was right. ''I don't know how Kurt could ever be interested in you, but you probably meant something for the poor guy, and you were just as idiot. So know you go and apologize.''

''And what if I don't.'' He just couldn't help it, he loved the rebel act at any moment.

''When you go out to sing at the bar I'll swallow your key and I'll refuse to let you in.'' Answered Jeff, defiant. ''Now go, you know where NYADA is.'' 

 

-

 

''What are you doing here?'' Asked Kurt sharply.

''Jeff kindly suggested I come here to apologize.'' He explained with obvious sarcasm.

''Then go back from where you came from, a forced apology doesn't mean nothing to me.'' He said staring at the floor. ''Besides, I'm okay.''

''You're not.'' Sebastian made him rise his chin and in a self destructive act he forced himself to look him in the eyes. He didn't quite understand why, but those eyes made him weak. ''I'm sorry if I hurt you Kurt, but that's just how things are.'' 

''You weren't like that when I met you, if you had been I'd just ignored you and nothing wouldn've happened.''

''Well, that was just an act, okay? To be brutally honest I did a lot of things with the only purpose of getting into your pants, and it worked. Now the best thing we can do is just to move on.'' He said hoping Kurt would just punch him and go home, then everything would be over. 

''I know this is not you, why are you doing this?'' 

''It is, if it makes you feel better you were just slightly different.''

''Should I feel better just because you slept with me more than once?'' Shouted Kurt, clearly upset. That wasn't what Sebastian meant, but he let him think it was. 

''Calm down, I don't get why you're so angry. It's not like I ever promised you anything.'' Said Sebastian, and that was when Kurt's mind clicked. Sebastian never promised anything, he never said they were going to be together for a long time, he never even mentioned they were, in fact, together. Nothing. He couldn't argue with him, because Sebastian hadn't promised anything. ''I'm sorry.'' Was the last thing Sebastian said before walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay I did post it! *runs in circles*


	5. Chapter Four

That night, Kurt took a cab to the address Blaine previously texted him to meet up in a bar called Cloud Nine. There Blaine greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and a compliment about his outfit, to which Kurt answered with a smile. Tonight he just wanted to have a good time with his new friend and get to know him better. The music could be clearly heard from outside the place, someone was singing live. What Kurt didn't expect to see when he walked trough the door was Sebastian singing on stage while a group played the instruments.

 

Six bottles went down the drain,

one hour a waste of time

I'd ask if you feel the same, 

still pushing that chance to try

your breath in this cool room chill

long hair that blows side to side

you speak and make time stand still

and each time you walk right on by

 

Kurt immediately tried to concentrate in any other thing. The place was crowded, the colorful lights barely illuminated the bodies moving vigorously beneath them in the dark, the stage was the only part of the place completely illuminated by white light. Although the bar was almost in the dark you could barely distinguish a few people leaning on it or seated while having a drink.

 

Like violence you have me, forever and after

Like violence you kill me, forever and after

 

Kurt still tried not to stare at Sebastian, but how could he not? He was wearing black skinny jeans and a white shirt that tightened against his torso as a consequence for the sweat, and he was swinging his hips to the beat of the song. It was really something worth seeing, mad or not. 

''Kurt!'' He heard a familiar voice and turned around to find Jeff smiling at him. ''What are you doing here?''

''Blaine invited me.'' He answered with a smile looking at the brunette on his side. The blond's smile grew and he shook hands with Blaine.

''It's a pleasure to meet you.'' Said Jeff. ''Are you on a date?'' He asked causing Kurt to elbow him. Blaine laughed.

''Something like that. I bumped into him at NYADA and helped him up, he seemed interesting so I asked him out.'' Said simply.

''So you go to NYADA?'' Jeff asked again. In just a few minutes the two of them were sitting at the bar talking about their lives like old friends, leaving Kurt alone on the dance floor.

 

Can't count all the eyes that stare, 

can't count all the things they see,

she kills with no life to spare

just victims are left to bleed, 

one drink and the pain goes down,

soft shadows lay by her feet,

lay soft as you slowly drown,

lay still as you fall asleep

Fall asleep.

 

''Hey'' He heard Nick's voice and turned around to greet him with a kiss on the cheek.

''Hey, you came with Jeff?'' Nick nodded in response.

''What are you doing here?''

''I was supposed to be on a date but he abandoned me, seems like he found more conversation in another person. Said looking at Blaine and Jeff.

''I don't blame him, Jeffie's adorable.'' He said smiling at his boyfriend in the distance.

''I don't blame him either, I'm distracted and I'm unable to have a decent date right now, I'm starting to think I shouldn't have come here.'' He tried to use all of his will power not to look at Sebastian again, but he couldn't help but glance at the stage, Nick noticed.  
''I'm so sorry. Jeff told me he forced him to apologize bur judging by how he got to the apartment I'm guessing it didn't went very well.''He stared at his friend dancing on stage during the guitar solo before gripping firmly the microphone again.

 

Like violence you have me, forever, and after

like violence you kill me 

like violence you have me, forever, and after.

 

''You and Jeff seem to be used to him.''Kurt casually said, finally giving up and gluing his eyes to the stage.

''We are. It's Sebastian, he's been having that attitude for years now and there's not much we can do about it. Yes, maybe some people call him a slut, and maybe he'll never have a serious relationship but it's his life. Like some people think it's okay to take drugs or rob banks, and there's not much I can do about it because it's not my decision. I tried talking to him but it's useless, so as a friend all I can do is live with it and love him no matter what.''

''You do realize you just compared your friend with bank robber and drug addicts?'' Asked the blue eyed boy, making Nick laugh, wich made Kurt laugh. Nick's laugh was contagious.

''Sebastian wasn't like this when I met him.'' He commented. ''That I don't give a fuck attitude was something he built up along the years.''

''What happened.'' 

''It's not my story to tell. Jeff and I hoped he would react sometime and realize he could be doing so much more of his life than sleeping with everything that moves and singing in a bar. He'd have a brilliant future if he wasn't so stubborn and listened to us every once in a while. He's worth so much more than people see.''

''If I didn't know who are you talking about I'd think you were talking about an innocent puppy.''

''He is.'' Was Nick's response. ''At least that's the way I see it. Sebastian can be very complicated and stubborn, I think I'll never comprehend him completely but I'm sure he's not a bad person.''

''You really care about him, right?''

''He's my best friend, we've been trough everything together. I saw him fall and get back up multiple times.'' Nick was the only person Sebastian went to if he had a problem and viceversa, they always got each other's backs. ''I really hope someday he realizes how much he's worth, I don't know maybe even fall in love.''

The song ended and Sebastian had gotten down the stage and was dancing against a guy that wouldn't stop touching him. Kurt felt something between anger and sadness. He walked to the bar and dragged Blaine to the dance floor, he started moving his hips against Blaine, while the brunette hugged him by the waist. 

Sebastian looked over...James's? Jamie's? shoulder. Remembering the boy's name became irrelevant the moment he saw Kurt dancing with a dwarf. Sebastian just looked at him raising his eyebrows and started kissing Justin's neck. Kurt responded to this by hugging Blaine tighter and biting his ear lobe, gaining a moan from him. Blaine had no idea what was going on, but he was starting to ger turned on so he really didn't care as much, he just slided a hand inside Kurt's shirt and started tracing drawing with his fingers, the blue eyed boy sighed in pleasure while he continued to look at Sebastian, who never stopped looking and him either and was now groping the other boy's ass. When Kurt saw that he caressed Blaine's growing hard on trough his pants, causing Blaine to buck his hips.

The music abruptly changed and that made Kurt snap back to reality. A reality where he has on a firt date and he should probably take his hand off of his first date's pants. He pushed Blaine back gently and stared at Sebastian for a few seconds. He wasn't going to use Blaine to make Sebastian jealous.  
''I'm sorry.'' He spoke weakly before running out of the bar. In an impulsive act, Sebastian immediately left the guy he has with and ran out of the bar after Kurt because, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he cared for him. The blue eyed boy was sitting against a wall with his head between his knees, Sebastian sat next to him. 

''What's wrong?'' 

''Yeah, like you really care.'' He answered in a cold tone, looking up to him. Sebastian felt those blue eyes burning holes through his skin.

''I do.'' He admitted. ''I'm sorry, okay? I know you're hurt but I can't change things, that's just how I am. And I like you, maybe we could be friends.'' 

''I guess trying won't make things much worse.'' He said with a weak smile. They both went back to the bar.

At the end of the night, Blaine escorted Kurt to his apartment's door. They said goodbye and just when the blue eyed boy thought he could finally throw himself on his bed, Blaine stopped him.

''Do you want to have coffee with me tomorrow? I know today wasn't the perfect first date.''

''That would be great. And I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I don't know what got into me.'' 

''It's okay.'' The shorter one kissed his cheek before getting lost on the hall.

''Coming home late on a school night, Hummel? Who would've guessed?'' A voice emerged from the dark when Kurt closed the door behind him, startling him. He quickly turned on the light, revealing Santana sitting on a spinning chair next to the bay window. ''Honestly, I always thought you'd get out of control in New York, my psychic mexican third eye never fails.'' She finished, poking her forehead.

''Santana? What are you doing here?'' He asked, still trying to process the situation.

''I left college, I asked Burt your address to 'send you a letter','' She drew quotation marks in the air with her hands. ''I took a flight, arrived here and talking with a nice girl named Quinn I found out which was your apartment and I forced the lock with a hair clip.'' She finished with a smile, Kurt was still in a shock. ''Now, are you going to tell auntie Tana who was that boy?''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can never get enough blink 182 in your life, ever  
> Yaay for Santana appearing?   
> There may be or may be not some side brittana too in the future


	6. Chapter 6

When Kurt was done telling Santana 'she couldn't just show up in his house like that', and she answering 'he couldn't just disappear the whole summer and expect no one went to find him and occasionally move into his apartment', Kurt calmed down and he even hugged her friend, he had missed her, after all. Then he told her everything.

''Okay, let me catch up.'' Spoke a confused Santana after Kurt finished telling her about his summer. ''You had a fling with Sebastian on the holidays, then he disappeared and when you finally got to see him again you found out he is the kind of person that sleeps with everything that moves. Then you used the hobbit to make him jealous.'' Before Kurt could argue about the last part, she spoke again. ''I'm impressed, Hummel. I still can't picture how you ended up with that Sebastian guy in the fist place, he doesn't sound like your type, although now that I think about it you never had a specific type, you've dated things so diverse.'' She shrugged.

''First of all, I'm not using Blaine, he's a nice guy and what happened today was just an unfortunate situation he found himself in the middle of.'' 

''Unfortunate? I bet it was the best night of his life, dressing like that I doubt he gets many dates.'' The brunette interrupted him and Kurt glared at her. ''Let's be real.'' She added, and Kurt just rolled his eyes and continued talking.

''Second, Sebastian wasn't like that when I met him.'' He let himself fall on the bed and sighed, while the latina rose from the spinning chair she was on to sit on the edge of the bed and place a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. ''When I met him he was so sweet and gentle, he made me happy, you know?'' He straightened. ''I thought he felt the same.'' He stared at an undetermined point in the room for a few seconds before speaking again. ''God, I miss him.'' 

''You saw him a few hours ago.''

''I know, I'm just such an idiot to miss him.'' 

''You're not an idiot, you're human. A guy was nice to you to get into your pants, I've been there, do you know what do you do in situations like this one?'' Kurt shook his head. ''You use the pity card for a while, watch sad movies and eat ice cream, it's okay, but then you have to get up with attitude and show the world no one messes with Kurt Hummel.'' The boy smiled. ''I don't see why I couldn't show that Sebastian guy a taste of what happens when you make someone mad in Lima Heights, just so he knows.'' Kurt laughed and hugged Santana.  
''I'm really glad you're here.'' He said when the hug finished. ''I'll say it now because living with someone -especially you-, won't be easy, I'm sure that in a couple of weeks we'll start to think of different types of torture to apply on the other.''

''I'm glad I came here, too. You won't hear me say it twice, but I like your presence in my life.'' She said trying to sound uninterested.

''Is that your way of saying 'I love you'?'' He asked smiling.

''Maybe.'' She smiled too. They stayed silent for a while.

''What happened to Dani? Are you two still together?'' Kurt asked, finding it weird that Santana moved to New York leaving her girlfriend.

''We drifted and decided to break up, actually she broke up with me, she said she wanted to see other people.''

''Ouch, are you okay?'' 

''Perfect, you know what? Fuck relationships, who needs a relationship anyways? Now I'm in New York and I'm starting a new life without strings attached.'' She said sounding like she was trying to convince herself, Kurt could see she was hurt, after all they dated for quite a while.

''As far as I'm concerned, do whatever you want. Maybe you could rub off some of that attitude on me, I always get too attached to things and it always ends badly.''

''I promise we'll be okay.'' She said, reassuring.

 

-

 

The next day at NYADA was going normally. He had bumped into Rachel a few times, that girl really understood him, she was sure of her talent, she was ambitious and she shared the same interests as him. He also saw Jeff and Nick a few times and they invited him to have dinner at their apartment again, specifying that Sebastian wouldn't be there, Kurt laughed and said it wouldn't be necessary, the proceeded to tell them about the conversation they had the night before outside the bar. The rest of the day was lonely, he didn't share any classes with people he actually knew, the huge halls confused him and were full of people that didn't seem willing to be as half as nice as Blaine or the others had been.

Blaine.

Shit. He completely forgot about his date with Blaine. It was a date, right? He wasn't dressed properly for a date, he was wearing a pair of simple black pants and an old baggy t-shirt, but he didn't mind. It wasn't like when he went on a date with Sebastian, back then he made sure to never repeat an outfit and to make sure those outfits looked fantastic and encircled his body on the right places. Then Sebastian would give him that smile, followed by a compliment and a whisper on his ear to finish driving him crazy, that usually led to them sharing kisses, necking and sighs on the comfy backseat of Sebastian's black Corsa, and Kurt would come out of it with a few red marks on his neck that he wouldn't even try to cover because just seeing them in the mirror when he woke up in the morning made him smile, remembering how good it fel-

'Stop!' He mentally shouted himself, he had to stop thinking of Sebastian that way, and comparing him to Blaine. He realized being his friend would be even harder that he thought it would. The boy looked at his watch and realized Blaine or Santana could arrive at any moment. He'd promised the latina he would take her shopping that afternoon.

''Hey Kurt.'' He startled when he heard that voice behind him and he turned around to find Blaine smiling at him. He opened his mouth to greet him back but in that moment someone interrupted him taking his arm and pulling it. It was Santana.

''I'd ask about your day but I don't really care and on my way here I saw a tight dress that would really make my-'' Finally she turned around and saw Blaine. 

''Santana, he his Blaine.'' Kurt introduced him awkwardly. Blaine extended his arm to greet her and the girl just stared at him, it seemed like she was holding back laughter. ''We have a date, maybe you remember hearing it last night behind my door.'' Kurt said on a lower tone, but he knew it wasn't low enough that Blaine wouldn't hear it.

''If I remembered I wouldn't have made you promise to take me shopping.'' She said, no one could decipher if it was sarcasm or not. ''But let's be honest, you totally forgot, right?'' She asked totally amused by the situation. Kurt nodded. ''What are you going to do?'' She asked, Kurt wondered if she really expected his response to be 'oh yeah Tana, I'm cancelling my date with a guy I kind of like to take you shopping'.

''I'm going to my date.'' He said decided. ''You can go shopping without me, you can show me what you bought when I get home.'' He was about to turn around and drag Blaine with him, until she spoke again.

''Then I'll go with you, I'm sure Blaine won't mind, right?'' She asked looking at the shorter boy with a smile the Cheshire cat would be proud of. Kurt looked like he was a about to have a nervous breakdown, he pulled Santana aside to talk to her.

''Santana, I really want to get to know him better.''

''I'm sure the hobbit would like to get to you better.'' She said raising an eyebrow, but Kurt's expression didn't weaver, he was frowning. ''The boy'll have to put up with my presence sooner or later. Look at it as a test, if he still wants to date you afterwards, congrats! He likes you enough.''

''Why would he have to get used to you? He just wants a normal date with me, and I want the same.''

''I told you, when you're retired and you get a nice house outside the city to start a family I'll be auntie Tana who lives in the basement, it'll be fabulous and I'll have a minibar.'' Kurt rolled his eyes, he'd already heard his friend's plans to stick with him for the rest of his life and live under his roof in exchange of the privilege of seeing her everyday, he wasn't sure how much of it was actually a joke. ''Look Kurt, I just want to have an opinion of him, I know you're a big boy and you'll probably ignore me anyways saying I'm a soulless bitch that doesn't understand romance. But I care about you, and I want to meet the hobbit.''

''You just want to scare him.'' He said, smiling a little this time.

''You're right, but I promise not to scare him for life, I'll just sit there and I'll be a sexy ornament carefully watching over you until I find someone else I'm more interested in watching. I really need to meed more people in this city.''

''Okay, but you pay your own coffee.'' 

''And tonight we can go shopping.'' She clapped happily, Kurt bit his lip.

''Tonight I'm having dinner at Nick and Jeff's.'' He said waiting for his friend's reaction.

''That's perfectly fine by me... I just hope you know you'll have to take me too.'' Kurt sighed, it was going to be a long day.


	7. Chapter Six

''You're unbelievable. I can't believe it's your second day in this city and you've already got someone's phone number.'' Said Kurt looking at the digits written messily on her friend's arm while they walked lightly in the noisy New York city streets on their way to their apartment.

''It's all about the attitude.'' Answered Sanata, also briefly looking at her arm with a self-conceited smile, probably remembering the girl's long legs. ''You could get a different number everyday if you had a little more attitude and you moved to the city's rhythm.'' The chestnut haired boy looked at her, contemplating the brightness in her eyes. She talked about the city like she'd known it her whole life. He felt a little jealous, wishing he could feel like that too. His friend had found her place in the world, she fitted perfectly there and she was aware of it. Kurt had been in the city for a few months, and it was his dream city, but something would always tie him to Ohio. 

Her friend's company on his date with Blaine wasn't as chaotic as Kurt thought it would be. She just sat with them and slowly ate the slice of raspberry pie she ordered, followed the conversation and obviously took advantage of any moment to embarrass Blaine. Her attention deviated when a slim red haired woman wearing a really short dress walked through the small but pretty place's door and sat on the nearest table. The two young women started glancing at each other to the point where they were practically eye fucking each other, that made the other two boys slightly uncomfortable, but allowed them to continue their own conversation. Before they left the place, the redhead called the brunette to scribble her phone number on the girl's right arm. It'd been a nice date, Kurt got to know Blaine a little more and left with the promise they'd see each other later at Nick and Jeff's apartment.

''Some of us prefer romance, thank you very much.'' Answered the chestnut haired boy, emerging out of his thoughts. The girl snorted and rolled her eyes.

''I really hoped the city would change you a bit, I'm disappointed, Hummel.'' 

''You were expecting me to date a different guy every day and start giving out my number in napkins saying 'for when you're bored or feel lonely'?'' He laughed at the idea, just like his friend. 

''No, but I expected you to go out more, maybe try to meet interesting people. You really don't take adventage of those legs and that ass, anyone would drop at your feet.'' Kurt just looked at her. ''I notice things, okay? You don't have to be a genius or sharp-eyed to notice that. I'm just concerned about you, you're not going to be this age forever, and we're on the perfect time and place to... explore.''

''Explore?'' 

''Yes, explore, challenge yourself everyday, go out and meet interesting people. Get drunk and have conversations you won't remember the next day, find out what kind of people you like, what makes you happy, what turns you on. You could surprise yourself. You're in New York.'' Her friend talked with such emotion, he coudln't remember the last time he saw her like that, without a doubt the city changed you. And maybe she was right, he hadn't let the city change him.

''Maybe you're right.''

''Of course I am.'' She stared at him, examining him. ''I'm officially making it my mission to make sure you go out more and explore, stating today.'' She said with a mischievous smile. The peculiar thing about Santana, was that on the rare occasions when she decided to help you for no reason, she didn't do baby steps, she shoved you off a cliff. The blue eyed boy was slightly worried about how the situation might end. ''Tomorrow we're going shopping and we'll get you a new style.''

''What's wrong with my clothes?'' He asked almost offended. 

''Changes are good, I'm sure I'll find a new style I like on you.''

''Shouldn't I like it?' She didn't answer, she rushed to get to their building's door and opened the front door. Kurt frowned, when did she took his keys? He palmed his jean's pocket to notice they weren't there anymore. Kurt tilted his head, sighed and smile, Santana would never change, and honestly, he didn't want her to. 

The orange and red shades started disappearing from the sky, letting the night appear. Both friends decided it was time to get dressed.

''How should I dress?'' Asked the brunette, she had scattered the couch -the one she slept in- with different dresses, and she was trying to solve a knot in her hair at the same time she tried to fit her feet on a pair of black heels without using her hands.

''Just be decent, as long as you're covered enough I'll be happy. There's not going to be anyone you can impress anyways.'' He answered, coming out of his room wearing black pants and a sweater over a white shirt.

''Ugh, I forgot I'm spending the night surrounded by little ponies.''

''You're the one that insisted in coming.'' Kurt reminded her.

''It was a slightly better plan that locking myself here to watch The L Word, even though now that I think about it it's pretty tempting.'' 

The brunette settled for a short navy blue dress. Both of them walked to the place under the ciy's infinity of lights, wrapped by the traffic sounds and the music coming from the multiple bars and casinos of the area. They rang the bell and used the elevator to find Nick and Jeff greeting them with a smile, telling them to feel at home. Behind them was Blaine, sitting on the neat living room's red leather sofa, who greeted them with a kiss on the cheek. Santana initiated a conversation with Nick, he always had something to talk about, and apparently he had a lot in common with her. Blaine and Jeff were also talking and they tried to include Kurt but he was very distracted by the view the balcony offered, they were on the twelfth floor after all. Consumed by the city's beauty he didn't notice a sixth person's presence. Sebastian came out of his room, wearing dark skinny jeans and a half buttoned up shirt, it was a simple outfit, but he looked great, he was the kind of person that seemed to posses an aura that made any man or woman turn around to take a second look.

''Goodnight.'' Simply said the green eyed boy. His eyes went immediately to Kurt, who had turned around to see him, his eyes burned the boy's skin, scanning him carefully like he used to do. Then he saw Santana, walked up to her and extended his hand. ''I'm Sebastian, it's a pleasure to meet you.'' She shook his hand and smiled.

''Santana.'' She said staring at him carefully.

''I never saw you before, or heard about you.''

''I'm new in the city, I arrived yesterday.'' Said the brunette. ''I'm living with Kurt.'' She pointed out. Sebastian looked at Kurt again and then at Blaine. He walked up to him and greeted him reluctantly. Then he took the keys he left on the coffee table near the sofa.

''I'm going out.'' He announced opening the door. 

''Where are you going?'' Asked Nick, making it seem like a routine. 

''It's Saturday, I'm going to Ritz.'' He answered, as if it was obvious. ''Are you coming?'' He asked Santana, she just stared at him surprised. ''It's your second night in the city and you seem like an interesting person, I think you'd have more fun visiting a bar than here.'' He paused to look at Nick and Jeff. ''No offense.'' The brunette thought about it for a few seconds before getting up, taking her coat and walking through the door, muttering. ''Goodbye.''

''Don't be late!'' Shouted at the same time Kurt and Nick, but they were already gone. They sighed. 

 

-

 

'Ritz' turned out to be a gay bar just a few blocks away. The music made the floor vibrate, the colorful lights sparkled everywhere and the black light made every white object stand out. The room smelled like sweat and alcohol. It was full of people -most of them already drunk-, moving at their own pace among the crowd, singing the songs so loud they would probably wake up with a sore throat the next morning. There was all kinds of people, after all they were in New York. There was all kinds of guys, short, tall, muscular ones that weren't wearing a shirt, and skinny ones, there was men wearing flamboyant outfits with feathers and glitter, and there were men barely wearing any clothes. There was also a big amount of women, tall, short, slim, blondes, brunettes and redheads, most of them had long legs and fair breasts.

When they were inside, they sat on the bar and Sebastian ordered drinks for the two of them. Also winked at the barman in the process.

''So you're new in the city.'' Stated the boy, initiating a conversation. ''What brought you to the city that never sleeps?''

''I needed to change the air, and this city's always been my dream, I've always dreamed of arriving here and feeling everything fitted perfectly.''

''Did it fulfill your expectations?''

''Absolutely.'' The barman appeared with two small glasses of vodka and left them, the one destined for Sebastian had a small paper with something scribbled on it, the green eyed boy saw with and smile pleased. The girl frowned. ''The other reason I came here was for Kurt.'' The boy tensed. ''I've always been really protective of him, he's my best friend.'' Sebastian just nodded and looked the other way, being terrible at pretending Kurt was an alien subject to him. ''You can drop the act now, I know everything. And I'm still here, right?'' 

''You came here for that, to give me a lecture and yell at me?'' He asked raising both eyebrows, amused.

''I'm not here to talk about Kurt or argue about anything. I saw an opportunity to get out of that house before I started to barf rainbows and I took it, there's nothing more to it.''

''Won't Kurt be mad?''

''I don't have to like his friends, just like he doesn't have to like my friend. And you haven't said anything to make me dislike you yet, so I don't see why I should hate you. Besides Kurt's perfectly fine, totally unaffected.'' She said, lying a little. Sebastian just nodded and scanned the room again, stopping every once in a while to see someone who drew his attention.

''Did you see someone you'd like to take home?'' He asked, wanting to resume the conversation again. The brunette frowned. 

''I'm not here for that.'' The boy shrugged. 

''I just wanted to know your type, you can learn a lot about a person by who they fancy.'' There was a silence.

''I like her.'' The brunette pointed at a blonde girl visibly taller, her hair's tips were dyed in ombre shades of blue and green. Her make up was perfect, and she was wearing a loose flowery dress. She was on a corned laughing and humming a song, holding a glass of black liquid on her hand. ''What does that say about me?'' Sebastian stared at her for a few seconds and then looked at Santana.

''It says you like neat and well done things, even thought you may not be like that yourself. That you don't think someone has to expose themselves to be sexy, and that you like people you can protect.'' She frowned at him. ''I don't blame you, that girl's adorable, even I want to hug her and lock her away so that no one can hurt her. But I'm sure you'd like to do more than that.''

''Do you know her?'' He nodded.

''Her name's Brittany, she's very kind a loving. She's here every Saturday. She lives on the building next door, I helped her friend to carry her there a few times when she was too lost to go alone. I talked to her a few times but I doubt she remembers. It's a pity there's such great persons like her so lost they don't see another solution than to drink in a stinky bar.'' The brunette stared at her again. Now she was trying to move to the beat but she was completely out of rhythm, she felt the need to hug her. Santana felt very relieved to remember Sebastian said she lived next door. Wanting to stop worrying for a stranger she turned back to Sebastian and spoke again.

''What about you? Who gets your attention?'' She asked. The boy already had emptied his glass and he was in the middle of another drink the girl hadn't realized he'd ordered.

''Him.'' Was all he said, pointing a guy sitting next to the bar just a few meters away, he was normal. The guy was wearing red pants and a black button up, his blond hair falling messily on his face. It was an ordinary person. When Santana decided to take a second look she noticed the boy's eyes, deep blue. Just like Kurt's. ''C'mon, let's dance.'' Announced Sebastian leaving the empty glass on the bar and taking her hand to guide her to the dance floor. They started moving together, loosing themselves in the music. 

 

I could show you what you want to see

and take you where you want to be 

 

Every once in a while Sebastian took her hand and made her spin. One of those times the boy made her spin and quickly pushed her, making her bump into someone.

''I'm so sorr-'' She started to apologize, but the bunch of insults she was preparing in her head to throw at Sebastian disappeared when she noticed the person she'd bumped into was Brittany.

 

You cloud be my luck

 

The young blonde just shook her hand and laughed. She took the brunette's hand and made her spin, then looked at her in the eyed with a smile. Santana just smiled back.

 

Even if the sky is falling down

I know that we'll be safe and sound

 

The brunette looked for Sebastian to give him a grateful look, but he wasn't looking back, he was being dragged by another boy to a place that seemed to be the bathrooms. Would it be like that every Sunday? She decided to leave him alone, she wouln't get into his life, she'd just met him a few hours ago. She drew all of her attention tho the beautiful and delicate figure moving in front of her. 

 

I could show you love

In a tidal wave of mistery

You'll still be standing next to me

 

The blonde took her hand again, but this time placed it on her own waist, then she threw his own arms around the shorter's shoulders and they stared to move, in total dissonance with the thumping music around them. Santana smiled against her hair and sighed. It was something so intimate, but there was a voice inside her head telling her it was the alcohol acting. Brittany didn't need her, of course, she didn't even know her name, she just feel the need to feel safe, loved, she needed that hug and that peace and she was letting herself have it in that state.

 

I could lift you up

I could show you what you want to see

and take you where you want to be

 

But the brunette didn't argue, after all she needed to feel that too every once in a while. She let Brittany stay there until she had to go home, She sky was already turning orange, so she looked for Sebastian, who was sitting a corner with a lost look in his eyes and the shirt completely open. She dragged him out of the bar to take him to his apartment.

She couldn't get Brittany out of her head in all the way, she still felt her caressing her shoulders, tracing drawings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ritz is a real place, I looked it up, I literally googled 'gay bars in new york'   
> Hope you liked the sort of angsty brittana  
> originally I wrote dantana but now I'm so overwhelmed with my brittana feels I regret it  
> so yeah, lots of kisses


	8. Chapter Seven

''Damn traffic.'' Santana murmured as she opened her eyes and tried to get used to the light coming from the big window, even though there were curtains, it was still too bright for someone who was waking up with a hangover. The girl growled and covered her head with a pillow.

''It was about time.'' Kurt said coming from the kitchen. ''I thought you'd sleep 'til noon.'' The blue eyed boy sat next to her on the couch, snatched the pillow off of her head and handed her a glass of water and an aspirin. The girl looked at him squinting and took the aspirin. She didin't say anything. ''You promised we would go shopping today, remember? We'd find a new style.'' 

''Not even shopping can get me out of this couch.'' She said, covering her head with the blanket. Kurt just got up and started to tug from the blanket until it fell from the couch, leaving Santana uncovered, then he walked to the window and opened the curtains fully, letting the sunlight penetrate the room. ''Damn it, Hummel.'' The girl growled siting up. 

''Don't complain, I couldn't sleep well last night either.'' 

''Menstrual pain?'' The latina asked mischievously.

''I was worried.'' The chestnut haired boy answered in a more serious tone. ''You went out with Sebastian who knows where and you didn't even send me a message.'' 

''Easy, drama queen. The bar the meerkat took me to was just a few blocks away from your friend's -hydrogen peroxide and his boyfriend the hobbit number two- apartment.'' She said rubbing her eyes. The hangover clearly increased her creativity to insult people.

''I still can't understand how I never imagined the two of you being friends, you're so alike.'' Kurt said staring at the floor.

''I don't know whether to take it as a compliment or if I should get offended.'' 

''It's nothing, it just never crossed my mind that you would meet each other and start hanging out in bars together. I'm surprised, that's all.''

''Does it bother you that I hang out with him?''

''No.'' Kurt rushed to say. ''No, you can hang out with whoever you want.'' He changed the subject quickly. ''How was your first experience in a New York bar?''

''I can't complain, I doubt that was one of the best ones the city has to offer but the music was good and so were the drinks, I guess that's enough.'' She shrugged. '' I danced with a really sweet girl named Brittany.'' The latina continued, ignoring the fact that her friend raised his eyebrows and released a small sound. ''Sebastian vanished after a while with a guy in the bathrooms, when I went to get him he was a disaster. The guy's a mess, but he's not bad.'' She shrugged again. You didn't have to be that smart to know Sebastian and the other guy hadn't been precisely playing a chess match in a bar's bathroom. Kurt was forced too think of him again, the gentle touches, the smiles, the desperate kisses, he still couldn't believe it was the same person that got drunk and slept with strangers. The girl noticed her friend was a little off and talked again. ''Shit, my mouth's got no filter, I didn't want to upset you. I know's still hard for you.'' She said trying to sound comprehensive but it was obvious she was bothered. 

''It doesn't matter, it's okay.'' He subconsciously started to play with the leather wristband, he developed the habit of playing with it whenever he felt sad or nervous, it calmed him down.

''How was your night with the little ponies?'' She asked changing the subject.

''It was fine, Nick and Jeff are awesome, it's impossible to get bored when they're around.''

''And what happened with Blaine?'' 

''He's a knight in shining armour directly out of a fairy tale.'' He said sighing, more frustrated than other. ''He's gentle, he's polite, he's funny and he cares about me. He asked me out and again and I accepted, he greeted me with a kiss. He has beautiful eyes.'' He didn't sound half as enthusiast as he should.

''I don't get it, you don't sound happy with your scale model of prince charming.'' 

''I know, I don't get it either. Blaine is all I ever looked for in a guy, I should be exploding with happiness but- I don't know, something's missing.'' 

''Well, you don't have to rush either, you just had like two dates with him, maybe you need to know each other better.'' She suggested.

''Is it bad that I don't want to know him better?'' He asked carefully, feeling guilty for some reason. ''Maybe it's not him, but the fact that I simply loathe the idea of dating someone right now. I'm not in the mood of going out.'' Santana frowned at this for a few seconds, then started talking.

''Hummel, the pity party is over. Now, ready or not, you have to get up and get over him because life won't wait until you're ready to carry on, let alone Blaine.'' The chestnut haired boy just stared at her without saying a word, frowning. ''Don't look at me like that, I'm trying to be as not insensitive as possible. Sometimes life is cruel and leaves you alone in a hotel room without any explanation, and sometimes life's a bitch but I'll tell you what you do when that happens: you cry, you get up, get over it and you carry on with your life. It's time to get up Hummel, I've already given you enough emotional speeches for a whole lifetime.'' She smiled and took his hand. ''You're lucky you've been blessed with a wise and sexy guardian angel to guide you.'' The girl rested her hands on her chest, pointing at herself, the boy just laughed. ''So now I'm going to take a shower while you get dressed and then we'll go shopping, we'll find you a new look.'' She got up and started going through her suitcase, the one she kept next to the sofa, then she walked to the bathroom humming.

Kurt sighed and let himself fall on the sofa. He knew Santana was right, it was time to get up. He couldn't spend the rest of his youth feeling sad for something he wasn't even guilty of. He got up from the sofa and went to his room, opened the closet that had once belonged to his mother and inhaled the familiar scent, then he kneeled and took out a little cardboard box, when he opened it he saw a big amount of photography's and souvenirs from different occasions, that box contained his past, memories of everything he left behind, and he continued to fill it with more recent ones. It started as a place to keep photos, but then he started to use it to keep any little thing he wanted to preserve, from pretty rocks to party invitations. The boy unhooked the wristband carefully from his arm and placed it inside the box along with the other objects, then he closed the box quickly. A few minutes later he went out of his room already dressed to fin her friend sporting a striped dress and a smile, ready to leave the building. 

 

\- 

 

Sebastian woke up for the fifth time that morning, after realizing the sun was rather powerful, he decided to get up to go to the kitchen and take and aspirin, the feeling of his bare feet against the cold floor made him shiver, but he didn't flinch. The apartment felt empty and silent, Nick and Jeff weren't there. The only sound that could be heard was the annoying clock hanging on the living room, the same Sebastian had tried to throw away a few times, but Jeff insisted that it was a family relic, that damn clock made a defined sound when the needle proceeded pointed the seconds.

The sound made him nervous, in certain way it made him realize how fast time passed, and in situations like that, the amount of time he spent alone. Sitting in front of the worktop that divided the kitchen from the living room, waiting for his coffee to be ready, he tried to recapitulate the night before. His head hurt and he still felt lost. He just knew he stopped counting after the fourth vodka. Every memory he had was out of focus. 

Santana and Brittany dancing together. The barman winking at him. A dark haired boy leading him into a small room. The same person on his knees, giving him pleasure under a flickering light. A pair of bright blue eyes glaring at him.

Sebastian growled and massaged his temples with his fingers, then he hid his face in his hands. The blue eyes tormented him, and it was harming him. But it was him against the world, and he didn't need anyone, or at least that was what he told himself.

He heard a familiar and short beep, which meant his coffee was ready, but he didn't have enough energy to get it.

He sighed. After all it wouldn't be the first time he drank a cold coffee. He rested his head against the cold marble and quickly fell asleep again.

His coffee remained intact.

 

-

 

''Are you sure?'' Kurt asked while he stared at his reflection on the mirror, he was trying on a pair of really tight pants and a pink shirt that adjusted perfectly to his body and let a part of his abdomen uncovered. Santana was next to him contemplating him, she looked proud. She was also trying on clothes, she was wearing a leather skirt and a black shirt with glittery pads

''Wait.'' She said undoing the first two buttons of the shirt his friend was wearing. ''Now you're perfect, If I played for your team I'd definitely want something with you.''

''Isn't it too much?'' 

''Of course not, what do you think about me?'' She asked posing dramatically in front of the mirror and turning around to get different angles.

''I think,'' A voice came from behind them, soon Brittany was standing next to them, wearing clothes from the store, apparently she worked there. ''that you look beautiful.''

''I could say the same about you.'' Santana smiled and winked at her. Kurt rolled his eyes but smiled too.

''Have we met? I think I remember you from somewhere.'' Brittany asked, getting closer to them.

''We must have.'' She answered, staring sweetly at her. Kurt cleared his throat, receiving a furious look from her friend and an awkward smile from the other girl.

''So, should I buy it?'' He asked.

''Totally.'' The blonde answered before Santana could. ''And I don't say that just because I work here, you look awesome, I guarantee you will have everyone around you drooling.'' Then she looked at the brunette. ''And don't make me start talking about you.'' Santana blushed, and Kurt looked surprised, he never saw her friend blush. ''You should come here more, maybe we could go out someday, the three of us. You seem nice.'' She proposed. ''I'm sure I saw you somewhere, I wouldn't forget your smile.'' She finished with a smile. Seeing the brunette was totally dumbstruck, Kurt was the first who talked.

''Sure, we'd love to-'' The boy read the little sign the girl was wearing on her shirt. ''Brittany!'' He smiled.

After exchanging numbers with the blonde they payed for the things the tried on and greeted Brittany before getting out of the store and get walking once again through the noisy streets. Just a few seconds passed before Kurt talked.

''So that's Brittany.'' He said with an eyebrow raised.

''Shut up, Hummel.'' She answered harshly, but she wasn't really mad, then she changed the subject. ''How do you feel about a piercing?'' The girl asked, and Kurt opened his eyes exaggeratedly. Before he could answer, she talked again. ''You can think about it on the way, the place closes early.'' The brunette took his hand making him run.

 

-

 

''I can't believe you convinced me of this.'' The chestnut haired boy said admiring little steel spikes going across his bellybutton.

''C'mon, Hummel, it looks great.'' She was looking at the little shiny spot on her nose in the reflection of her hand mirror. ''Didn't it feel great going out and doing something totally unexpected?''

''As much as it hurts my pride to say it, and also a big part of my abdomen that's is physically hurting, I have to admit it feel good. Really good. He smiled at his friend. ''But after this I think I can survive without doing any other kind of activities that include needles for a long time.'' 

''Let's go visit Nick and Jeff, when you do something unexpected seeing people react to it is half of the fun.''

''What if-?'' He was interrupted.

''If Sebastian is there, you're going to say hi to him and continue to mind your own business because now you're a different Kurt Hummel, one that's going to move on.'' Santana looked at him and he nodded. ''He must be still sleeping or agonizing in bed, hangover must've hit him harder than me.''

They arrived quickly to their friend's apartment and the doorman let them in, since he already saw them there a few times. The they arrived to the floor they noticed the door was ajar, but they rang the bell anyways. Nobody answered to they rang again.

''I'm coming!'' They heard and husky voice, and within seconds, Sebastian was opening the door. He had notable circles under his eyes, messy hair and looked really tired in general, still wearing a pyjama. He opened the door without paying much attention to them, then turned around and let himself fall on the couch. ''Nick and Jeff went out, they could be back in any minute, you can wait for them.''

''Okay.'' Santana answered, simply walking in and leaving the bags she carried on the floor, and then going into the bathroom as if she was in her own house.

Kurt closed the door behind him and walked a few steps to stand awkwardly in the middle of the living room. Sebastian looked up to observe him properly for the first time. He looked surprised, scanning him up and down shamelessly. Then he stood up and got closer to him. Kurt pursed his lips and stared at him.

''You look great.'' The taller boy commented, still looking at him carefully.

''I can't say the same about you.'' Kurt snapped, wanting to sound like Santana did every time she said something mean, but he couldn't help a little laugh. The green eyed boy just stared at him tenderly and laughed too.

''I know, it's not one of my best days.'' He said staring at the floor, forcing himself to look away. ''How was your day?'' He asked, trying to make a conversation.

''It was interesting.'' He answered quickly. ''Everytime Santana takes me somewhere I end up doing strange things, but most of them turn out to be good.'' He smiled.

''I like the change.'' 

''Changes are good.'' Kurt nodded. The whole situation felt weird, but surprisingly not uncomfortable.

''Wait here.'' Sebastian said walking to his room, after a few seconds he came back with a leather jacket in his hands and gave it to Kurt, telling him to try it on. ''Yes, it looks great on you, it completes the outfit.'' Kurt smiled and when he started to take it of the other boy shook his head. ''No, keep it, I haven't wore it in years, plus it looks good on you.'' Kurt looked carefully how Sebastian raised a hand and caressed his cheek, suddenly feeling his heart skip a beat. Kurt opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a voice behind him.

''We arrived!'' Jeff announced entering the apartment with a smile. ''Kurt!'' The blond ran to hug him, ignoring Sebastian, then he moved to look a him better. ''I love it, it's definitively your style.'' He said followed by another hug.

Sebastian walked to his room and shut the door, Nick followed him. Kurt looked at them over Jeff's shoulder, who was still squeezing him. It had been an interesting day indeed.


	9. Chapter Eight

Nick entered in Sebastian's room carefully. Everything was neat, except for the king size bed, that was flooded by white sheets everywhere. In between that ocean of cloth, Sebastian was lying there, with his eyes closed, motionless. Nick knew he wasn't really asleep, since the time it took him to get to the room wasn't enough for his friend to fall asleep. The black haired boy sighed and walked towards the big bay window to close the translucent curtains, the he sat on the bed next to his friend and started to play with his hair. It wasn't the first time he did that, Sebastian would never admit it but that helped him fall asleep, that way he knew there was someone next to him, someone who cared enough for him to help him through the night. 

Nick lowered his eyes to his friend and remembered vividly all the occasions he did that before. Sometimes, when Sebastian spent the night in Nick's house when they were both just teenagers, the green eyed boy woke up in the middle of the night screaming, but brushed it off saying he just had a nightmare, then Nick told him it wasn't real and started playing with his hair until he fell asleep. The shorter boy lost count of how many times he'd done that for his friend, and he would keep doing it, as long as it was necessary.

After a while, Sebastian really fell asleep. Nick just stayed there, looking at him like a very fragile object, remembering the bad times, in which his friend was just a bunch of skin and bones who used to tremble and stumble very often. Then, after one summer, Sebastian changed his attitude, he saw it as an opportunity to become an improved version of himself, he became a cold person, but at least no one hurt him again. 

Deep inside, Nick knew the old Sebastian was still there, not the scrawny one, but the one who was loving and comprehensive one who cared about the people around him, maybe too much, but just because he didn't want anyone to feel as bad as he had. Then he simply stopped caring about everyone around him, he changed his attitude regarding everyone. Except for Nick, he couldn't loose his best friend.

An hour and a half later, Sebastian started stirring. 

''Mhm...Kurt.'' He murmured, then he opened his eyes to find his friend's brown pupils staring at him. ''God!'' 

''Neither of them, but you can call me Nick.'' He said, the other boy just frowned. ''We have to talk sooner or later.'' Sebastian didn't know what his friend meant, it'd been a while since they talked about something serious, so he supposed it would be about everything. 

''I'd rather later.''

''So you assume there's something to talk about.'' 

''Aparently.'' He said, sounding uninterested, as he walked to the bathroom. 

 

-

 

''I'm glad to see you again.'' Blaine said as he held his coffee with one hand and moved his chair. ''I haven't seen you in ages.''

''Yeah, college is keeping me occupied.'' The chestnut haired boy said as he sat and took a sip of his coffee.

''Me too, I think it's the first time I sit and have a coffee without thinking of NYADA in weeks.'' He mentioned, he sounded exhausted. ''Besides work leaves me tired too, but it's worth it.'' Blaine'd gotten a job a few weeks ago in a fancy restaurant with a big stage he got up to and sang the days he worked, although he didn't work everyday. Santana got a job too, in a bar called Cloud Nine, in fact, that was where Sebastian worked too. The girl worked as a waitress, and she quickly got a raise when the owners realize her presence -and her tight dresses- attracted more customers than usual. Kurt hadn't heard anything about Sebastian since he gave him his leather jacket, he just knew Santana and him got together in the morning to drink a coffee, and then they met each other in the bar and had a few drinks too, they became really close. ''What about you?'' 

''I still haven't gotten a job, but with the money I saved from my jobs in Ohio I can survive at least one more year.''

''What's up with the new look? I never got a chance to ask you.'' Blaine wondered with a smile, raising his eyebrows. Kurt remembered it had been weeks since the last time he saw Blaine, so the shorter boy didn't see his new image.

''Oh, it was Santana's idea, I really needed a change.'' He said smiling, he was wearing black skinny jeans, a red tank top and a lumberjack shirt tied around his waist.

''I like it, you look hot.'' Kurt blushed a little and smiled tenderly, he opened his mouth to say something but the other boy talked again. ''So, I'll see you tonight?'' He asked, and Kurt frowned.

''Tonight?''

''Santana told me to go to the bar, she plans on dragging you there too. She practically covered the whole front of NYADA with ads, I'm guessing It'll be something big.''

''It's good to know, at least now I know what to expect when I get home.'' Blaine laughed. ''I guess I'll see you tonight then.'' 

Kurt was a bundle of nerves inside, because he knew Sebastian would be there too, and the last time he was with Blaine in the same place as Sebastian things didn't turn out so well.

Both of them spent the afternoon talking until the sky darkened and the stars started to appear, they said goodbye with a kiss and the promise they would met again in a few hours. Blaine was an excellent friend, Kurt enjoyed spending time with him, but when they kissed, the blue eyed boy felt nothing but two lips pressed together, nothing more. There was something missing, something Kurt was searching for desperately for months now. He needed to feel what he felt for Sebastian for someone else, he needed to know it was possible. 

Exactly like Blaine said, when Kurt arrived to the apartment, Santana was walking nonstop wearing a Wonder woman costume. 

''Uhm... hi.'' Kurt murmured as he frowned. 

''Dress up!'' She exclaimed picking up a some clothes from the bed and handing it to him -practically hitting him on the chest with it-. ''We're late.''

''Late to what?'' He asked, examining the clothes her friend had handed to him, it was a dark shirt with the Superman logo and a pair of off-color skinny jeans. ''You really should tell me when you plan on dragging me somewhere.''

''Sure, we don't want to alter your tight schedule, it would be a tragedy if you run out of time to read your magazines and eat cheesecake.'' The brunette said rolling her eyes.

''Sometimes I watch the cooking channel.'' Kurt answered tried to defend himself, but he regretted it as soon as he said it, clearly that wouldn't help him.

''Don't get too crazy, Hummel.''

''Anyways, why the costumes?'' He asked resigned while he took his shirt off.

''The bar is organizing a costume party, and I'll be one of the hostess.'' She explained smiling, she sounded proud. ''We can take you up on the stage too, we can have a bachelor auction, and you get to choose the hottest guy.'' The brunette said and her smile widened as if she just had the brightest idea ever.

''Santana! I'm dating Blaine who, apparently, is going to be there too because you invited him too.''

''Ugh, right. Honestly, you must be the most boring couple ever, you don't do more than get together to drink coffee.'' 

''You told me I should find out what I liked, I did.'' He shrugged, in fact, his relationship was safe, and Kurt liked the stability it offered him.

''I don't want to be rude but- Have you two fucked yet?''

''Santana!'' He exclaimed hysterical.

''I figured, after all you've been dating for weeks now and you always met in public places.'' Kurt opened his mouth to say something but then decided it wasn't worth it.

 

-

 

In between snorts, complains and shirts that were too short, finally they both finished getting ready and walked to the bar, both receiving suggestive looks and whistles from both men and women. Kurt wondered how it would be when they were on the bar's stage.

They entered the bar through the back door and went straight into the dressing rooms, there were another three persons in there, a dark skinned guy dressed up as an angel, whose's costume consisted only in a pair of white baggy trousers and big wings attached to his body by suspenders around his arms, a tall blonde girl wearing a tight cop costume, and then there was Sebastian, he was dressed as a Hogwarts student, he was wearing grey jeans, a white shirt completely unbuttoned and a striped green and silver tie. Kurt couldn't help but laugh, remembering the serious conversations they had about which Hogwarts house they belonged to. The blue eyed boy always thought Sebastian would fit better in Hufflepuff.

''You look super-hot.'' Sebastian said with a husky voice and a half smile. Kurt rolled his eyes and laughed, trying not to blush but failing miserably. That voice still could drive anyone crazy. ''Sorry, I couldn't miss the opportunity to say it.'' He laughed.

''I still don't see you as a snake, Smythe.'' 

''No?'' 

''Not a little bit.'' The shorted boy said seriously, transmitting too many emotions for Sebastian to understand them all.

''It's time, guys!'' The blonde girl shouted, opening the curtain that led to the stage. The music became even louder and made the dressing room's floor shake a little. After almost stumbling with the stairs, Kurt was the first one to stand on the stage, it wasn't really big, but the place was crowded with people shouting and singing, moving to the music's rhythm. When everyone was on the stage, they started to introduce themselves, the blonde's name was Willow, and the other guy was named Zac. Then Willow kept the microphone, looking down at the people.

''I know, you're all mesmerized by our new acquisition,'' She turned around to point Kurt, and over the music they could hear whistles and people shouting things unsuitable for all audiences, Willow chuckled and winked at him, then turned around to face the crowd again. ''But don't just stand there, c'mon, people!'' And that said, she handed the microphone to Zac and ran to the back of the stage, where they were some big speakers, and she stood behind a dj table full of colorful and shiny buttons. Sebastian and Santana started dancing together, both laughing, they loved acting like a straight couple in front of the crowd. Zac started to invite people up to the stage. Kurt didn't know what to do, so he started dancing, he wasn't the greatest dancer, but in the middle of all those bodies moving he was sure no one would pay attention to him, so he let himself loose and allowed himself to dance under the flashing lights. After a while, the music stopped for a few seconds. When Kurt turned around, he saw Santana with a microphone between her hands, soon a song Kurt could recognize easily started playing.

 

Whats the time?

Well it's gotta be close to midnight

My body's talking to me

It says 'time for danger'

 

The girl started moving to the beat, her voice was perfect for that song.

 

Let's go out tonight

I have to go out tonight

 

As she sang she started to shake her hips while she gripped the microphone tightly. Kurt ran to her side and started moving with her, the girl smiled and continued singing.

 

So let's find a bar

So dark we forget who we are

And all of the scars from the 

nevers and maybe die

 

When the song ended, the crowd started clapping and shouting, the latina bowed. Then Sebastian appeared next to her and said into the microphone ''That was great, baby.'' And Kurt wondered if any person would believe her so-called boyfriend would think it was 'great' that his girlfriend sang that song, dressed like that in front of an alcoholized crowd that was probably imagining her in every compromising position possible. They should work on that. 

Then they both grabbed some stools from the back of the stage and connected another microphone. They sat and a slow melody started playing.

''Let's slow things down a little, shall we?'' Willow's voice said. ''It's time to dance slow and attached.'' She finished with a smile, then Sebastian started singing.

 

I've been roaming around

Always looking down and all I see

Painted faces fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody

 

His voice was beautiful, and he sang with such emotion, like he really meant every word he pronounced. He had his eyes closed, but when he finally opened them, he started searching someone with his gaze, until he found his target, his green eyes filled with emotions glued to Kurt, who looked at him frowning with his arms crossed. It was the latina's turn. 

 

Someone like you 

and all you know and how you speak

Countless lovers

undercover of the street. 

 

Her voice also suited the song, the girl looked at the man next to her, wanting to give him a loving look to satisfy the public, but he didn't move his eyes away from the other boy's blue ones as he sang again.

 

Off in the night while you live it ip, 

I'm off to sleep

Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat 

 

I hope it's gonna make you notice

 

Sebastian looked like he was about to cry. He pronounced the last words with a shaky tone.

 

Someone like me

 

The crowd started clapping, but this time it wasn't as loud as the times before, since most of the people's hands and mouths were very busy attached to other people. Sebastian got up the stool and got off the stage without saying anything. Willow put on happier music while the brunette moved the stools out of the way, Kurt got off the stage too and started looking for Sebastian with his gaze, the people around him moved and bumped with him. When he finally saw the green eyed boy he was flirting with another guy, a blue eyed blond dressed as a sailor. 

The chestnut haired boy just stood there, watching the other boys laugh. Until someone grabbed him by the arm and made him turn around, Kurt found Adam's warm smile in front of him, so he smiled back.

''Adam, I'm so happy to see you.'' He said. Behind him was Blaine, who gave him a chaste kiss. 

''I didin't know you'd be up on the stage.'' The blond said.

''What can I say? I have my contacts.'' He shrugged and laughed, then he hugged him and over Kurt's shoulder Adam he could see Sebastian, he frowned and whispered into the younger's ear. 

''Let's dance, just go with it.'' Kurt didn't understand what he meant until he was dragged to the dance floor, near to green eyes that infuriated him so much, and the blond started moving behind him, grabbing his hips and attaching him to his body. Blaine, in a an alcohol induced bliss, didn't seem to care and threw his arms around Kurt's neck, moving to the beat too. The chestnut haired boy closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the moment, he could feel Adam's smile behind him. When he opened his eyes, Sebastian was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I passed my math class and I'm really proud of myself  
> If I don't post anything until after the holidays I want to wish all of you a very happy christmas! mwah

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt writing something that's not in my mother lenguage, this is also available in spanish with the same title.  
> I'm going to post more chapters as soon as I translate them.  
> Lots of love!  
> Also if you find any gramatical error please tell me about it


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